Copyright 1999 -- Robert Baer Jr. Collie Squadron -- "Another Day at the Office" DISCLAIMER Road Rovers characters, names, situations and the Road Rovers universe are the property of Warner Bros. I, nor this script/story are connected with Warner Bros. in any way, shape or form. This document may not be publicized or reproduced in any way, shape or form. It must remain fully intact and may not be altered in anyway. It is strictly used for not-for-profit entertainment purposes only, and is not intended to infringe on any Copyrights. This story is written by Robert Baer Jr and the characters Otto, Samantha Maddog, Ben Maddog, Abby Maddog, Vicki Maddog, Molly Maddog, Kyra, Linda Maddog, Uncle Buford and Roger Maddog are all Robert Baer Jr's creations, copyright 1997-1998. DJ is a creation of Jake Williams. Collie Squadron -- "Another Day at the Office" The scene is a high rise office building in Downtown Atlanta, around five in the afternoon. In a office on the fifth floor is the Law Office of Maddog and Associates. Three very familiar looking collie dogs are sitting behind desks, attempting to type up legal documents with their paws. It is Ben Maddog's daughters Linda, Vicki and Molly. LINDA (growling): Why did dad give our human secretaries the day off? MOLLY (talking as she types): Well, Julie called in sick, Tanya has jury duty and Freda is attending a funeral. We'll make do the best we can for today! VICKI (growling): Humans can be so unreliable! MOLLY (talking as she types): I wouldn't let our clients hear you say that, nearly all of them are human! VICKI (sighs): You do have a point, Molly. LINDA (angry): Why can't we go back home and turn into Cano-Sapiens? I could type a lot better with fingers instead of paws! MOLLY (shakes head): We can't do that Linda! Remember? Our Road Rover identities have to remain secret! VICKI (sighs): You're right again, Molly! LINDA (grumbling): It's almost time to close the office, why hasn't Abby returned from court yet? Just then Abby entered the office, pushing the door open while holding her briefcase handle in her mouth. She sits it down on the floor. ABBY (happy): I did it! I got the Henderson case settled out of court! My negotiation tatics worked! MOLLY (still typing): How did you do it, sis? ABBY (smiling): Well, I presented our clients offer, at first the Henderson's lawyer refused to budge. Then, I growled a little and told him to sign or I'd bite his leg, he got scared and signed the legal release! LINDA (laughing): Good for you, Abby! VICKI (giggling): Great! I need to try that myself sometime! MOLLY (shocked): ABBY! How could you? That wasn't very nice! ABBY (shouting): But it WORKED!!! I GOT THE SETTLEMENT! MOLLY (under her breath): Dad isn't going to like this... ABBY (turns to Molly): What did you say? MOLLY (stuttering): Oh..... nothing..... The telephone rings, Molly answers it by pressing the intercom button. MOLLY (shouting): This is the law office of Maddog and Associates, may I help you? BEN (voice on speaker): Hi Molly! Are you and your sisters ready to close for the day? MOLLY (shouting): Yes we are, Dad! We'll be home shortly, we can use our collars to teleport since there's no one else here! BEN (voice on speaker): Good, because Uncle Buford and I need all of you here as soon as possible! LINDA (shouting): Do we have another mission? BEN (voice on speaker): Yes, I'll explain it when you arrive, goodbye girls! -CLICK - MOLLY (turns around): Y'all heard dad, let's close and go home! LINDA (smiling): I'm all for that! VICKI (happy): Me too! ABBY (smiling): Door's locked, let's go home! With a loud BOOM!!!!! All four of the Maddog sisters are standing in the large central cavern in front of the transdogmafiers. All of them enter the chambers and transform into their Road Rover forms. They run into the briefing room, and see that Otto, Samantha, Cobber, Dervish, Kyra, Roger and DJ are already seated around the large table, the others take their seats as Uncle Buford and Ben Maddog stands before them and speaks. UNCLE BUFORD (happy): Glad you girls could make it! BEN (pointing at a projected map): Here's our mission, fellow Rovers! A private jet carrying vital defense technology was reported to have crashed in this region of Iraq. According to our satelite findings, the plane somehow survived partially intact. The crew could have survived and so could the briefcase containing the secret defense plans. Our mission is to retrieve the briefcase and the plane's survivors before the Iraqis do! UNCLE BUFORD: Take care, my canine friends, this will not be a simple 'scan and teleport' mission. The Iraqis are constantly transmitting jamming signals to disrupt outside communications. That's why you must transport into Iraq and search the area with short range scanning devices. OTTO (nods): You are correct, Uncle Buford, we must begin the search at once! DERVISH (excited): WOW!! We're going to Iraq! LINDA (sarcasticly): Whoopie! VICKI (smirks): Maybe we can get Saddam's autograph! BEN (angry): If you two are not going to be serious about this mission, then stay here! LINDA & VICKI (in unison): DAD!!!! BEN (angry): I mean it, this mission will be hard enough without your whining and complaining! LINDA (sadly): We're sorry, dad, we want to help! VICKI (sadly): Yeah, sorry Dad! BEN: Alright you two, behave yourselves, this will not be an easy assignment. COBBER (holding his sword up): If those jokers bother us too much, I'll give'm the right end of my sword! ABBY (whispers to Kyra): Isn't Cobber handsome? KYRA (whispering back): He's a hunk alright, but he's got a girlfriend. ABBY (whispering back): Who? KYRA (whispers back): A doctor named Sheena ABBY (whispering back): A doctor! How come us lawyers have so much trouble getting dates? UNCLE BUFOIRD (motions with hand): Settle down, Rovers. There's one more person who'll be joining your group (points) and here he comes now! The Rovers all look towards the door and see their newest team member. LINDA (angry): Ewwwww! Not him! VICKI (shakes head): We're going to Iraq with him? ABBY (growls): I wonder if he's taken a bath this month? MOLLY (smiles): Look, it's the Computer Gila Monster! COBBER (surprised): This six foot salamander is going with us? GILA MONSTER (holding his trusty 2 x 4): Hey there, everybody! I'm reporting for duty and ready to clobber some bad guys! DERVISH (puzzled): The Computer Gila Monster? He doesn't look computerized to me! GILA MONSTER (pointing): Hey, orange dog, y'all got a problem with me? DERVISH (shakes head): No, no, not at all, sir! GILA MONSTER (smiles): Well, at least you have some manners, orange dog! DERVISH: The name's Dervish, and welcome to Road Rover Headquarters! GILA MONSTER (shakes Derv's hand): Well, I've been here before, I love it here! It's a big cave, so damp and dark, it's MY kind of place! COBBER (extends hand): And I'm Cobber, pleased to meet ya, mate! GILA MONSTER (shakes Cobber's hand): You is a foreigner, ain't ya? COBBER (smiles): Oh, you've noticed! I'm from Austrailia! GILA MONSTER (confused): That's funny, you don't look like a Californian! COBBER (dumbfounded): But...but... ABBY (whispers to Cobber): Skip it, Cobber, he's not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.. GILA MONSTER (angry): I heard that, collie lady, and I happen to be very good with tools! ABBY (giggles): I rest my case..... UNCLE BUFORD (shouts): Alright, now that the Gila Monster is here, you'd better get going! Ben Maddog, you're in charge! BEN (motions to the others): Let's all gather around, Otto, find us a good location in Iraq to teleport to! OTTO (sternly): I have a location, near the crash site, prepare for system activation. GILA MONSTER (nudging Dervish in the ribs): I loves this part! With a loud BOOM!!!! the entire team of Rovers is instantly transported to a cave near Basra. The cave was very dark and spooky, Kyra nervously holds Roger's hand as they all slowly walk towards the cave exit. ABBY (smacks Otto on the head): Brilliant, brother-in-law, you could've picked a better place than this to bring us to! SAMANTHA (growls): Lay off of him, sis, or I'll flatten you! ABBY (shakes fist): Go ahead and try it, Sam! BEN (shouts): Will you two stop it? We have a mission to complete! Otto, any sign of the missing briefcase? OTTO (solemnly): It's difficult to scan with all the Iraqi jamming equipment but I believe I have a fix on the emergency signal beacon. It's approximately two point seven miles to the north of our present position. It appears to be in the hands of an Iraqi Home Guard unit numbering one hundred and six soldiers. COBBER (grining): We can take'm! GILA MONSTER (swinging his 2x4): I agree with California dog here, it's clobbering time! BEN (turns to the others): We just can't run in there and take it, there's too many of them! Otto, can you teleport the briefcase here? OTTO (sternly): No sir, too much interference from the jamming equipment DJ: And if we try to knock out the jamming transmitters, we'll all be discovered! MOLLY (scared): And I heard that they don't treat prisoners very well..... BEN: Relax, Molly, we'll think of something..... It was at that time that four uniformed Iraqi troops entered the cave and began shooting at the Rovers. Samantha uses her collar to set a force field around them as the Gila Monster and Cobber ran towards the soldiers. Roger joins the fight as Otto teleports outside to discover more soldiers. Molly uses her super speed to instantly disarm all of the soldiers inside the cave and outside as well. Abby turns her flame power on and flies towards the other soldiers, scaring them into fleeing on foot. ABBY (shouting from the air): Watch'em run! Big bunch of cowards! GILA MONSTER (angry, swinging his 2x4 in the air): HEY, GIT BACK HERE YOU GOOMERS!!! I GOTTA CLOBBER Y'ALL! COBBER (puts hand on Gila's shoulder): Don't feel bad, mate, I didn't get to take my sword out on those blighters, either! ROGER (points): They ran away so fast, they left all of their vehicles! BEN (smiles): This gives me an idea! A few minutes later at the nearby Iraqi Home Guard base, a strange convey of Army vehicles pull up to the gate. After flashing some identification, the three jeep convey is allowed to enter the base. Inside the vehicles are the Rovers, all dressed in Iraqi uniforms and ready to storm the barricks looking for the briefcase. Otto,Samantha and Kyra are driving them, each using their holographic projectors to 'appear' as human drivers. When the convoy stops, they all slowly step out of their jeeps and walk towards the barricks building. LINDA (grumbling): Khaki isn't my color! ABBY (angry): I look like GI Joe's collie! MOLLY (angry): Quiet girls! We're almost in the barricks! OTTO (pointing): The briefcase is over there! I can sense it! As the Rovers slowly open the barricks door, it triggers a huge tear gas bomb to explode, instantly sending tear gas all over the Rovers and covering them all in a thick blanket of cloud cover. Iraqi soldiers soon surround them all, waiting for the 'smoke' to clear. When it does, the only member of the Rover's team that is standing is the Gila Monster, who is holding the briefcase in his left hand. GILA MONSTER (smiling): You jerks didn't know that my reptile lungs can handle tear gas, didn't you? As the soldiers point their guns at the Gila Monster, who pulls out a black box from his leather jacket. GILA MONSTER (to himself as he pushes it's buttons): I ain't got time to mess with you dingle doofs! I sure hope this fancy box works! With a loud BOOM!!!! all of the Rovers and the Gila Monster instantly appear at the Rammestein US Army Base in Germany. At first, the MP's on duty point their rifles at the Gila Monster. At that moment, the commander of the base, General Howe, orders his troops to stand down and runs out to talk to the Gila Monster. GENERAL HOWE: You're the Gila Monster, aren't you? Where's the Computer Renegade and the others? GILA MONSTER (pointing at his friends): Hey, General dude! Here's your briefcase y'all lost in Iraq! Can you git some medics out here to help my friends? GENERAL HOWE (motioning): Of course, Mr Monster, MEDICS!!! Each of the Road Rovers are treated by the medical staff at the nearby army hospital. The Gila Monster is soon joined by Hunter, Colleen, Blitz, Exile and Shag. HUNTER (looking at the Gila): Hey, green guy, how's it waggin'? COLLEEN (concerned): Are all the Rovers alright, Gila? GILA MONSTER (sadly): The doctor is looking at all of them, I hope they're gonna be alright EXILE: You will see, reptile comrade, our dog friends will be a fit as faddles! HUNTER (smirks): Er... yeah.... what he said... BLITZ (shouting): If I had been there, I'd have bitten all of those soldier's tooshies! EXILE: Don't be a weird boy! At that moment, Doctor Mary Giles walks towards the Gila Monster. DR GILES: I have good news, Mr Gila Monster, all of your canine friends have fully recovered, here they come now! Kyra, Roger, Otto, Samantha, Abby, Linda, Vicki, Cobber, Dervish and DJ all walk over the where the doctor is standing. HUNTER (smiles): Hi Collie Squadron! How's it waggin'? COBBER (smiles): We'd all been goners if it hadn't been for the big lizard here ABBY (surprised): You mean HE saved us? LINDA (surprised): HIM? VICKI (shocked): ARE YOU SURE? ROGER (happy): Yes, we're sure, sis! KYRA (hugging the Gila Monster): Thank you, Gila! GILA MONSTER (smiles): Now THAT'S a thank you! DERVISH (shakes Gila's hand): Thank you, Gila Monster, you really saved the day! OTTO (smiles): It would appear that being a reptile was a distinct advantage for our team today! SAMANTHA (smiles): Great job, Mr Gila Monster, sir! DJ (shakes the Gila's hand): Great work, Gila, but tell me, how did you know to zap us all to this army base in Germany? GILA MONSTER (surprised): Germany? You mean this here place ain't America? I must've set that black box thingy wrong! ABBY (grumbles): That figures! He sure ain't Einstein! EXILE: I have our Rover jet waiting at the airfield, let's all be rushing to it! HUNTER (shouts): Let's all head for home Rovers! They all howl in unison. The scene shifts back the Road Rover Headquarters a few hours later. Uncle Bofurd, Ben Maddog, Hunter, Colleen and the Master are in the briefing room discussing their last mission. MASTER (smiles): Road Rovers, your mission in Iraq was a complete success! The lost military briefcase has been returned to the Army, thanks to you Collie Squadron members, you're all good, good dogs! BEN (interrupting): Begging your pardon, Master, but it was the Gila Monster who got the briefcase and got all of us to safety! MASTER (giggles): Oh yes, the Gila Monster, where did he go? UNCLE BUFORD (shrugs shoulders): I don't know, sir, I saw him here earlier! Dervish is sitting in the lounge and sees Abby, Vicki and Linda walk by. DERVISH (calls out): HELLO... LADIES!!! ABBY (turns): It's Dervish! LINDA (points): It's HIM!! VICKI (growls): He's MINE!! I saw him first! Abby, Vicki and Linda nearly trip over themselves rushing to sit next to Dervish, who is smiling brightly. DERVISH (grins): Tell me, which one of you ladies wants to go out with me? ABBY (shouting): I DO!! VICKI (shouting): NO, ME!!! LINDA (shouts): PICK ME, I'M PRETTIER! DERVISH (softly): Ladies, ladies, please! Why not just give me a big kiss and we'll all go out and dig for ants, and .... ABBY (surprised): Ants? VICKI (shocked): Dig for what? DERVISH (stuttering): Er... I mean we'll all howl at the moon, yeah.... that's it! LINDA (sniffs): Hey, something here doesn't smell right! As Linda speaks, the real Dervish walks by and waves to the bewildered collie sisters. VICKI (points): Hey, what's that shiny metal thing in your pocket, Dervish? DERVISH (stutters): You mean.... this .... thing ABBY (grabs it out of his pocket): Yeah... this is a portable image projector! When Abby takes it out of his pocket, the false image disapates to reveal.... ABBY (growls): It's the Gila Monster! LINDA (growls): I knew he smelled funny! VICKI (angry): WHY DID YOU TRY TO TRICK US? GILA MONSTER (sadly): Because I know you three like Dervish, and I figured you'd go out with me if I were him! ABBY (shakes fist): I'd beat you up if I knew you wouldn't like it! LINDA (growls): No, that green goon would enjoy that! GILA MONSTER (smiles): That's what I love about you ladies, you've so GOOD at violence! VICKI (stands up): I'm going after the real Dervish! LINDA (stands up): Me too! VICKI (runs away): I saw him first! As Abby, Vicki and Linda run out of the lounge area, DJ, Molly and Cobber enter and see a very sad looking Gila Monster. DJ (smiles): Hey big guy, what's wrong? COBBER (smiles): Yeah, mate, you really look down! GILA MONSTER (sadly): Molly, I tried to get one of your sisters to go out with me, but they won't! MOLLY (puts hand on his shoulder): Look, Gila, maybe you should try to date someone else, someone who is more your ...... species? GILA MONSTER (nods): I guess you're right, Molly. But I just LOVE violent women, like Linda, Vicki and Abby! DJ (smiles): Well, if at first you don't succeed..... GILA MONSTER (shouting): That's right! I'll just keep trying! Someday I'll have a romantic evening with a Maddog sister! The Gila Monster runs out of the room to pursue his 'dream girls' as DJ and Molly stand there laughing. DJ (grins): Boy, I'm glad I'm not that hard up for a date! MOLLY (smiles): Me too! My sisters act the same silly way around Dervish! DJ (giggles): They do act silly, don't they? I'm glad you're not like that! MOLLY (blushes): Thank you, DJ! For a moment, DJ and Molly look into each other's eyes lovingly, but Molly turns and picks up a wrench. MOLLY (grins shyly): We have to finish the overall of the Street Rover's engine now, DJ! DJ (slight smile): That's right, Molly. Exile wants to take it out for a test drive tommorrow! COBBER: Hey! I can assist you two chaps! I know a thing or two about engines myself! DJ, Cobber and Molly leave the lounge area heading towards the garage. In the distance, the sounds of Linda, Vicki and Abby running away are heard, along with the Gila Monster pleading and begging one of them for a date. Watching all of this on a view monitor, Ben Maddog just shakes his head. BEN (to himself): Just another day at the office .............. --------------------------------------------------------------------